On Meditation

A few days ago, I was thinking about meditation & realized I've now had an *almost* daily meditation practice for about 5-6 years, at this point when I skip a day or two, it feels like I'm missing an ingredient.

Some days meditation feels like bliss, like a divine opportunity to sit within myself to be with this expansive formless awareness that sits behind all things. I'm able to find stillness, my thoughts are few and far between and with me sits the deeply nourishing presence of the divine.

Though I'll be honest here, some days it feels like hell. My mind rushes from place to place, my body feels tense & I just can't stop *that thing that annoyed me the other day* from incessantly popping up.

My blood boils, the tension rises & I feel trapped in this heavy place. Or sometimes a deep sadness arises & can do nothing about it.

Yet I continue to sit.

Some of these days are when I learn the most about the patterns of my own mind, my own shadow & the depth of my own heart.

These days I learn to be with myself without judgment. I learn to take each moment of returning to stillness out of a trance of thoughts, not as a correction of a failure but a beautiful moment of awakening.

What are your experiences with meditation? Is it something you practice or would like to?