Avidya: Who do you think you are?
Avidya, the first klesha, is translated as ignorance & is seen as the root of the following 4 kleshas. In this context, it is metaphysical or spiritual ignorance that is seen as leading to suffering, ignorance of the nature of reality & the true Self.
The Yoga Sutras state:
"Ignorance is regarding the impermanent as permanent, the impure as pure, the painful as pleasant & the non-self as the Self".
We begin from a fundamental misperception, confusing the seer & the seen. Becoming identified with emotions & thoughts (the seen, non-self), rather than identifying with the awareness that sits behind them all (the seer, the Self).
You begin to take on your thoughts & emotions as reality & form an attachment to these labels "I am hungry, I am sad/old/young/happy/anxious".
Yet each of these states are just that, states.
Just like clouds passing through the sky, they come & they go.
Just shifting from “I am sad” to “I feel sadness” can feel like a big difference in detaching your identity from these states & experiences.
Particularly when dealing with anxiety & depression, it can feel liberating to know that those negative thoughts you might feel bombarded with, are not who you are.
Now, I'm going to veer a little into the next kleshas here - identification with your emotions & thoughts, lead to searching for happiness within something transitory.
You become fixated on searching for pleasure (& avoiding pain), with the thinking that one day you'll arrive at a point within your life where you'll have found complete stability & there will be no more pain. Mistaking something impermanent, as permanent.
Pema Chodron writes: "we think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is things don't really get solved. They come together & they fall apart. Then they come together again & fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."
When you rest identified with awareness rather than thoughts & emotions, you find an inherent quality of spaciousness, here there is space for grief, relief, misery & joy to all come & go.
This where your meditation practice comes in. You get to put philosophy into practice by simply observing your thoughts, observing your emotions, trying to not get caught in the story.
Next time you come to meditation, practice watching your breath & noticing every time your mind wanders. Each time, notice where it goes & silently affirm it before returning to the breath.
Usually it will fall into one of these categories (but feel free to add your own):
worrying
remembering
planning
imagining
doubting
judging
analysing
When you notice one of these patterns come up, simply affirm it to yourself & then return to the breath.
For example, you may notice your mind wandering your morning meeting & affirm “planning” before letting the thought go & returning to the breath.
Start with 5-10 minutes a day & increase when you feel.
